Graduation season is full of excitement —- caps flying, parties buzzing, and the bittersweet joy of watching your child step into adulthood. Whether your graduate is headed to college, the workforce, or a gap year adventure, there’s one thing that often gets overlooked in the hustle of planning: legal incapacity planning.

You might be thinking, “Why would my healthy 18-year-old need something like that?”

Here’s why: the day your child turns 18, you no longer have the automatic legal right to make decisions for them. You can’t make decisions for their health, their finances, or their education. And if something unexpected happens — an accident, illness, or mental health emergency —- you could be left unable to step in when they need you most. That’s where incapacity planning comes in. In today’s blog, I’ll discuss everything you need to know when it comes to incapacity planning with your 18-year-old.

What is Incapacity Planning?

Incapacity planning is the process of putting legal tools in place so someone can act on your behalf if you’re unable to make decisions due to illness or injury. For an adult (yes, that includes your 18 year old!),  this means designating someone they trust. Usually, you’d want to choose a parent or guardian to make medical or financial decisions if your adult child is ever temporarily or permanently incapacitated. 

These documents are often associated with older adults, but they’re just as essential for young adults stepping into independence.

Why Incapacity Planning Matters at 18

When your child has their 18th birthday, they are seen as an adult under the eyes of the law. That means:

• You can’t access their medical records or speak with their doctors without permission (due to HIPPA laws).

• You might lose access to their bank account or see the details of the hospital bills you and your insurance are expected to pay.

• Their doctor may not share health information with you, hampering your ability to make emergency health care decisions.

This can create heartbreaking delays during moments when every second counts. Imagine your child is studying out of state and ends up in the hospital. If the right documents aren’t in place, you could be stuck and  powerless to help. Or closer to home — what if they’re in a car accident, and you can’t even talk to the doctor treating them?

It’s not about being controlling, or a “hovering” parent.  It’s about thinking ahead and being prepared!

The 3 Essential Documents Every 18-Year-Old Should Have

Here are the key pieces of an incapacity plan that can make a huge difference:

1. Durable Power of Attorney for Health Care (or Health Care Proxy)
   
   This document offers peace of mind—for both you and your child. It allows them to choose someone they trust, (usually a parent), to speak on their behalf if they can’t. It also can guide medical professionals with their wishes about life support, organ donation, and end-of-life care, so you’re not left guessing during an already difficult time.

• Why it Matters: Without this, you might be left out of critical conversations during a medical emergency.

2. HIPPA Authorization Form

Even if your child wants you to be informed, medical providers legally can’t share details without written permission. A HIPAA release gives doctors and hospitals permission to talk with you about your child’s health, so you’re not left in the dark if something happens.

• Why it Matters: This form opens the line of communication when every update matters.
  
  
  

3. Durable Power of Attorney for Finances

This document gives you the ability to help manage your child’s finances — like accessing bank accounts, paying bills, or dealing with student loans — if they can’t do it themselves.

• Why it Matters: If your child becomes temporarily or permanently incapacitated, this ensures someone can manage their obligations without court involvement.

Keep in mind that if your child participates in a study abroad program, the documents that are valid in the United States may not be valid in other countries. This should be part of your student’s preparation. 

Should My 18-Year-Old Have a Living Will?

It might feel too early to talk about something like a living will when your child is just turning 18—but it's one of the most caring, thoughtful steps they can take. A living will isn’t about expecting the worst. It’s about making sure their voice is heard if something unexpected happens. It gives your child the chance to express their wishes about life-sustaining treatment and other critical decisions—so you’re not left guessing during a crisis.

Imagine your child is away at college and ends up in the hospital after a serious accident. Without a living will, you may not know what kind of care they’d want—or be legally allowed to help guide those decisions. But with a living will in place, you have something clear and powerful to lean on: their voice. 

When Should You Talk About This?

The best time to talk about incapacity planning is before your child heads off into the world. Summer before college or right after graduation is a great window — it’s already a season of new beginnings, and it sets the tone for responsible adulthood.

Here’s how to approach it:

• Frame it as a safety net, not a power grab

• Emphasize that it’s about emergencies — nothing changes day-to-day unless something happens.

• Offer to go through the paperwork together so they feel empowered and informed.

This conversation is also a great opportunity to model thoughtful planning and help them understand the responsibilities that come with adult life.

Most of us like to believe that serious accidents and emergencies only happen to other families. But the truth is, unexpected things happen every day — to healthy, happy, 18 year olds on their way to class or out with friends. 

A sprained ankle doesn’t require a power of attorney. A head injury might. Planning for the “what ifs” doesn’t make them more likely to happen — it just means you’re ready if they do.

What Happens if There’s No Plan?

If your child becomes incapacitated and no legal documents are in place, you may need to go to court to obtain guardianship just to make medical or financial decisions. This can be a long, stressful, and expensive process — all while your focus should be on your child’s recovery.

But a few simple documents signed in advance can eliminate all of that hassle and worry!

How to Get Started With Schroeder Larsen Law

I understand how quickly everything changes once your child graduates—from high school to adulthood in what feels like a blink. That’s exactly why I created the Safety Net Plan—a simple, affordable way to ensure your young adult is legally protected if something unexpected happens. Getting started is easy. Once you reach out, I’ll send you a brief questionnaire to gather your child’s basic information. From there, I connect directly with your student to explain the plan, walk them through their options, and collect the details I need to draft their documents.

When the paperwork is ready, we schedule a single signing appointment. During that meeting, we’ll review each document together, answer any questions, and make any necessary changes on the spot. Everything gets signed, notarized, and returned—along with clear instructions on how to use the plan if it’s ever needed.

One important note: because your child is now a legal adult, the attorney-client relationship is with them—not you. That means they’ll need to bring their ID to the signing. The goal is simple: to give both you and your child peace of mind, knowing they're protected even when you can't be there to speak for them.

As an Estate Planning Attorney, I understand how important it is to protect what matters most—especially as your child takes their first steps into adulthood. Whether it’s helping them stay in control of their medical decisions, safeguarding sensitive information, or making sure you can step in during an emergency, the Safety Net Plan is designed to give your family peace of mind. 

If you're ready to take the next step, contact me today to get started. Let’s make sure your family is prepared for whatever comes next—with confidence and peace of mind. I’m here to help you and your loved ones navigate this next chapter!

Click here to schedule your call with Kirsten today!